Nail your wedding speech

The first thing to say is there’s nothing intrinsically special about giving a gay groom speech. The same rules apply. Of course, your speech has one advantage over most other groom speeches – you’re marrying a bloke which means it’s already a bit different. Let’s drink to that.

By following a few key pieces of advice from the Speechy scriptwriters (BBC trained, celebrity schmoozers and wedding speech revolutionists) your speech is guaranteed to become a little less ordinary. We’re on a mission to rid weddings of boring, cliched and meaningless speeches. Follow our etiquette, writing and delivery advice and discover #whatsyourstory.*

*Of course, if you’re looking for a bit more hand-holding, check out our gay groom template or bespoke speech writing service. Yes, we can do the hard work for you!

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Who's Doing What?

The first thing to think about is how you and your groom are going to divide speech duty. It might just be one of you addressing your guests (though it seems like a missed opportunity) or you could both give a speech. The other option is giving a joint speech (we LOVE em!) and you can find out more about Mr & Mr speeches here.

Let’s assume you’re both delivering speeches, you’ll need to ensure you’re not doubling up on the thanks or the stories. Sure, you’ll each want to thank both sets of parents (and score brownie points with the in-laws) but only one of you gets to tell the story where you got locked in the pub.

You also need to think about how you’re scheduling the speeches – if you have more than three you might want to think about having one after each course of the wedding dinner or even saving one till the evening do (though that’s a risky strategy if there’s a free bar).

Gay wedding speech etiquette

Let’s get this out of the way first. Don’t get tied down with traditional etiquette. A lot of it is outdated and well, just not fit for a modern wedding.

Tailor your style to fit in to the scene you’ve set. Have you invited a lot of older relatives who expect a certain level of decorum or just a dozen of your Pacha amigos who expect Jagger Bombs on tap? Maybe you’ve splashed out on a stately manor or gone urban in the Gherkin (see Attitude’s great alternative wedding guide if you’re interested in that one) – just make sure your words reflect the wedding you’ve created. 

The thank yous are, of course, important and can ensure a lifetime of love from the in-laws (or alternatively, years of deep & brooding resentment). The groom traditionally thanks…

  • everyone for coming
  • his parents
  • the in-laws
  • his best man or woman & ushers / bridesmaids

Of course there may be others you want to mention (children from previous relationships?) but resist the urge to read out half the guest list. Nothing kills off a speech quicker than a tedious thank you list.

Admittedly, thank yous have become more complicated in recent years with parents often separated and with new partners. If this is the case, simply thank parents separately and be careful to honour them both appropriately. Depending on the politics we’d also recommend acknowledging their new partner if they’re attending the wedding.

The groom traditionally ends his speech with a toast to the bridesmaids but we think this is a missed opportunity (and you might not have any anyway). Toast something meaningful to you and your groom; something that will get everyone smiling. It could simply be a toast to a ‘ a lifetime of dancing on tables’.

The 5 rules to writing a great wedding speech

Gay Wedding Speech - Do's and Don'ts


Start writing your speech – Obvious but honestly, ideas will keep popping into your head once you kick off.

Check with your man– Make sure you’re not doubling up if you’re both giving speeches. Who thanks who? Who gets to tell the funniest story?

Make the thanks yous meaningful – Don’t just talk about what people have contributed to the wedding, thank them for what they’ve contributed to your life

Keep the thank yous concise – no one deserves more attention than your husband

Practise your speech and film it on your phone – Watch it back, promise yourself you’ll do something about your paunch and spot where your speech can be improved.

Use witty wedding quotes – Plagiarism ain’t cool but using quotes is a great way to super-charge your speech with romance or humour. Get inspired by our Quote Guide.  Or quote the lyrics from your favourite tune (NME’s First Dance Guide or Gay UK’s Music Inspo)


Thank the caterers or the venue – It’s unnecessary.

Resort to cliches – Yes you can thank your in-laws for ‘raising such a wonderful son’ but try to make it personal too. Thank your mother in law for the extra inch added to your waistline since you first sampled her Yorkshire Puddings.

Ignore the feedback of friends – It’s always worth testing your speech out on a mate but this also means you have to listen to them. If someone doesn’t get a joke, don’t waste your time explaining it as you won’t be able to do that on the day.

Talk over laughter – You’ve worked hard for those laughs – don’t rush them. Always wait until your guests have settled down before continuing with your speech.

Get overly soppy – Get the balance right between sweet and just showing off. Leave the pet names at home and keep anything overly gushing for the bedroom.

A Bit About Speechy...

The Speechy team includes James, Heidi, Roger and Claire. Between us, we’ve been included in the Edinburgh TV Festival’s ‘Ones to Watch’ and featured in the BBC Hotlist.

During our telly careers, we’ve  worked with people such as Richard Hammond, Sharon Osbourne, Dan Snow, David Mitchell and Mel Geidroyc. Get us!

These days we’re the go-to experts for wedding speech advice – featuring in wedding bibles such as Rock n Roll Bride or Wedding Ideas Mag, or more mainstream media such as Radio 1 and Radio 2. 

Of course, we love helping people write amazing speeches and we still get excited when they tell us we’ve added a special moment to their day.

Groom Speech Help - Click to Buy Now!

Contact us if you want a natter about how we can add something special to your wedding.

  • Gay Groom Speech Template


    Speechy’s Gay Groom Speech Template is the ultimate DIY Speech Kit on the market.

    It comes with a Content-Creator (guaranteed to extract brilliant material from even the most uninspired) and a choice of three speeches that our team have crafted for you to simply pick your favourite and then personalise.

    Fun, clever and possibly the best wedding investment you could make.

    Further details below. Enjoy!


  • Bespoke Speech


    Commission the Speechy wordsmiths to craft a bespoke (and rather brilliant) wedding speech for you. 

    Buy today and we’ll get the ball rolling.

    Please ensure you’ve booked your speech into our calendar before purchasing. Call us on 07971 225 245 if you haven’t already.

    More details below.

  • Speech Review Service


    Purchase a Wedding Speech Review and the Speechy wordsmiths will ensure it’s a speech to remember for all the right reasons. 

    Once purchased, simply upload your speech when prompted and our experts will ensure it passes all the etiquette and story-telling tests. We’ll also rewrite any sections that we feel are lacking and ensure your speech is one you can’t wait to deliver.

    Your ‘Reviewed Speech’ will be emailed to you within 48 hours of purchase.

    Further detail can be found below.

  • Delivery Masterclass


    Deliver Your Speech Like a Pro with our Speechy Delivery Masterclass

    Wedding speech delivery is just as important as writing a great speech. As ex BBC TV directors, we’re trained to get the best out of you and teach you the tricks of the presenting trade. 

    The Masterclass is a one-to-one Skype call with one of the Speechy team that will take between 45 and 60 mins. We’ve worked with numerous celebrities and countless comedians as part of our TV career helping them to get into their comfort zone and deliver the goods and, with a few simple tips, we guarantee you will too! 

    We’ll ask you to present your speech before giving you feedback & presenting tips, and then get keep on rehearsing it until we feel you’ve got it. You’ll inevitably see immediate an improvement but we’ll also send you a personalised email with everything you need practise and remember on the day. It’s basically The Cheat’s Guide to Nailing It. 

    Once purchased, we’ll be in touch to set up the Masterclass Skype call or you can call us in advance to check our available time-slots.

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