Groom Jokes

It’s your big day! And after the ceremony, it’s time to toast your brilliant new bride and tell her all the things you’ve always wanted to say to her.

… But as nice as that is, it’s more entertaining if you’re funny too.

We at Speechy think humorous wedding speeches are must-haves at your ceremony. They keep the audience amused and keep all the soppier bits of your speech in check.

However! Before you go up there and just crack any old joke, be careful. Here are our big do’s and bigger don’t’s.

Groom jokes

'Humour' that's not worth having

Controversial perhaps, but let’s be honest, we’re all thinking it… Recycled wedding jokes just aren’t funny.

If you were to watch the same episode of Friends thirty times in a row, sure it might start off funny. But by the thirtieth time Joey eats a whole turkey, you’re no longer laughing. You’re probably just bored.

Familiarity breeds contempt. And if you’ve already heard the joke before, everyone in the crowd will have as well.

Jokes like ‘I’d like to thank my new father-in-law for his kind words. Best £20 I ever spent!’ Sure. Fine. Nothing too offensive, but it’s a cheap, cop out and you can do better!

This of course just scratches the surface. There are far more, often less PG jokes that you hear at every wedding. So save yourself the hassle of googling jokes, metaphors or, worse, limericks. They’re not worth it. And your bride deserves better!

wedding toast

How To Create your own humour

The best way to get big laughs from your friends and family is to tell the truth.

… The funny truth that is. This isn’t Confession.

The bulk of your speech will be about your beautiful bride. So try to think of all the funniest anecdotes you have from your years together. The time she spilt wine down her chair on your first date. The embarrassing poolside incident in Crete. How you accidentally lost your ring in a public toilet on the proposal day.

Sit down with a pen and paper and have a think about all these incidents, whether from big events as above, or just something silly that happened when you were on the sofa watching Game of Thrones.

Struggling for stories? Have a think about her passions and interests. Is she far too into Michael Bublé? Able to burp the alphabet? Does she eat burgers with a knife and fork?? Anything which shows their real character will get a much bigger laugh than an impersonal, internet gag.

After you’ve done this, ask some of her family and friends for anything else you might have forgotten, or never even knew. By the end of this, you’ll have enough material for six speeches (but, please, for the audience’s sake, keep it to one).

Best man wedding speech

Groom Joke Tips

Once you’ve mined anyone and everyone for bride-related stories, it’s time to get ruthless! Only choose the very best stories and anecdotes so the speech doesn’t drag on and keeps everyone laughing.

Sometimes you may have two great stories you can’t choose between. But we at Speechy suggest finding a theme for your speech, so have a think which one best suits the theme and your decision should be made for you, no matter how tough.

Keep the whole speech as punchy as you can. Roughly, you’ll want to be aiming for seven minutes – including all the laughter – so move swiftly from story to story.

This means there’s no time for dirty jokes, recycled jokes and – importantly – in-jokes. No matter how funny something is to you and one or two other people if no one else in the room will get it, just cut it. You’ll just have people scratching their head or turning to the wine.

Bride and groom hug


Stand-up’s make standing in front of a bunch of people and being funny so easy, don’t they? But in reality, us normal people know… it’s not. It’s really hard.

But the good news is even the best stand-ups weren’t always as polished. And they have to make a career of it. You only need to be funny for five minutes and then can go back to enjoying your dinner and making a fool of yourself on the dancefloor.

There are ways of making this as pain-free as possible. First of all, make sure you’ve practised your speech over and again beforehand, even trying it in front of a friend or two if possible.

Then, on the big day, the most important thing is just to take your time. You know the material. You know the speech is funny. The only thing holding you back are those pesky nerves. So adjust your delivery to slightly slower than normal as you ease in. Give all the jokes room to breathe.

By the time you’ve got your first laugh, you’ll ease up. From then on it’s all about eye-contact and performing to your crowd. Don’t just read it off a piece of paper. Remember, for five minutes, you’re Jerry Seinfeld, so milk it for all it’s worth.

And if necessary, maybe check out Speechy’s all new Delivery Coaching Service. It could make the difference!

So those are our top tips! Embrace uniqueness, reject recycled old jokes and you’ll be laughing. As will your adoring audience.

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