STEP 1 – TELL THE TRUTH
As Homer Simpson wisely said ‘It’s funny ’cause it’s true’.
So take a step back from trying to be funny. Instead, ask yourself some hard-hitting questions and hunt down the truth…
- What makes you two unique?
- What are your weird quirks? And what about hers?
- Do you share any guilty pleasures?
- Who is better at what in your relationship?
- What have you taught each other over the years?
- What frustrates you about each other?
You get the idea.
Try to be as specific. ‘Loves dancing to cheesy 80s music’ is not as funny as ‘forces everyone to reenact Micheal Jackson’s Thriller whenever there’s a hint of a house party or a sniff of Cava’.
Or ‘manically tidy’ won’t get as much of a laugh as ‘gives nightly lectures about how to load the dishwasher efficiently… Sometimes with accompanying youtube videos to act as scientific proof of her tidying theories.‘
So have a think about her passions, hobbies and eccentricities. Is she far too into Michael Bublé? Able to burp the alphabet? Does she eat burgers with a knife and fork?
Anything which shows her real character will get a much bigger laugh than an impersonal, internet gag.
STEP 2 – GET STORY HUNTING
Conduct a forensic search of your relationship and find your best stories.
To be clear, your best stories NEVER relate to the proposal (unless it went wrong). Your best stories are the ones you tell down the pub and everyone laughs.
So scroll back through your social media, hunt down your old Tinder profile and retrace your romantic steps.
The time she spilt wine down her chair on your first date. The embarrassing poolside incident in Crete. How you accidentally lost your ring in a public toilet on the proposal day.
After you’ve done this, ask family and friends for anything else you might have forgotten, or never even knew. By the end of this, you’ll have enough material for six speeches (but, please, for the audience’s sake, keep it to one).
STEP 3 – CREATE A COMEDY CHARACTER
Every speech needs a focus for the comedy. Your target could be yourself, your bride or you could set up the notion of a traditional double act (straight bride vs daft husband).
Some people reckon the bride should never be the comedic focus. They seem to think that as soon as a woman puts on a white dress she can only be told she’s beautiful & wonderful; a Beyonce / Mother Teresa hybrid.
We don’t agree. Just because a woman’s wearing her best knickers and has a ring on her finger doesn’t mean she’s lost her sense of humour.
The key is to keep the humour affectionate and loving. Everyone will love you more for pinpointing the quirks of the bride’s personality.
Of course, you should have a proper heartfelt tribute towards the end of your speech but feel free to have a laugh along the way. It also shows you ‘get her’, which in turn, proves you love her.