nail your groom speech

As soon as the table plans come out, most blokes panic and dive head first into Googling etiquette and wedding gags. This result is the usual fodder; a speech that’s clichéd, boring and just a bit blah. The standard compliments to the bride, the usual thank yous to the parents and a few cursory anecdotes thrown in for good measure.

Actually, a good wedding speech is about good storytelling. Granted, the Speechy team are BBC scriptwriters by trade, so we’ve got a head-start on you but follow our advice, and you’ll create a speech that’s so good, your wife will want it framed.

*Of course, if you want a more than ‘advice’ check out our groom speech template or our bespoke speech writing service. We aim to make writing your speech downright enjoyable.

Groom speech etiquette

The first rule of groom speech etiquette is – don’t get tied down with it. A lot of it’s outdated and well, blooming dull.

There’s no need to address your friends and family as ‘ladies and gentlemen’ (chances are they’re not), and you don’t need to toast the bridesmaids (though it is essential you say they’re gorgeous even if they’re already on their second bottle of Pinot).

The thank yous are, of course, important. Your marriage is frankly doomed if you forget to thank your mum in law.

The groom traditionally thanks

  • everyone for coming
  • his parents
  • his in-laws
  • his best man & ushers
  • the maid of honour & bridesmaids

Of course, there may be others you want to mention (children from previous relationships?) but resist the urge to read out half the guest list. Nothing kills off a groom speech quicker than a tedious thank you list. Keep each individual thanks to less than 50 words and to include a sense of fun throughout.

If you’re planning on giving thank you gifts we recommend saying you’ll be ‘personally handing them out later’ so you don’t disrupt the flow of your speech and the guests aren’t tempted to start checking their WhatsApp messages.

If you want to swot up on what everyone else is covering – check out Debretts, Hitched, or Confetti’s etiquette guides. Only necessary if you’re the swotty sort. 

The 5 rules to writing a great groom speech

Groom Speech Help

Click on ‘Read More’ to find out about each product or service, or simply ‘Add To Basket’ if you want to buy now. Contact us if you want a no-obligation natter about which service would suit you best.

  • Groom Template

    £39.99

    Speechy’s Groom Speech Template is the ultimate DIY Speech Kit on the market.

    It comes with a Content-Creator (guaranteed to extract brilliant material from even the most uninspired) and a choice of three speeches that our team have crafted for you to simply pick your favourite and then personalise.

    Fun, clever and possibly the best wedding investment you could make.

    Further details below. Enjoy!

  • Bespoke Speech

    £395.00

    Commission the Speechy wordsmiths to craft a bespoke (and rather brilliant) wedding speech for you. 

    Buy today and we’ll get the ball rolling.

    Please ensure you’ve booked your speech into our calendar before purchasing. Call us on 07971 225 245 if you haven’t already.

    More details below.

  • Speech Review Service

    £150.00

    Purchase a Wedding Speech Review and the Speechy wordsmiths will ensure it’s a speech to remember for all the right reasons. 

    Once purchased, simply upload your speech when prompted and our experts will ensure it passes all the etiquette and story-telling tests. We’ll also rewrite any sections that we feel are lacking and ensure your speech is one you can’t wait to deliver.

    Your ‘Reviewed Speech’ will be emailed to you within 48 hours of purchase.

    Further detail can be found below.

  • Delivery Masterclass

    £150.00

    Deliver Your Speech Like a Pro with our Speechy Delivery Masterclass

    Wedding speech delivery is just as important as writing a great speech. As ex BBC TV directors, we’re trained to get the best out of you and teach you the tricks of the presenting trade. 

    The Masterclass is a one-to-one Skype call with one of the Speechy team that will take between 45 and 60 mins. We’ve worked with numerous celebrities and countless comedians as part of our TV career helping them to get into their comfort zone and deliver the goods and, with a few simple tips, we guarantee you will too! 

    We’ll ask you to present your speech before giving you feedback & presenting tips, and then get keep on rehearsing it until we feel you’ve got it. You’ll inevitably see immediate an improvement but we’ll also send you a personalised email with everything you need practise and remember on the day. It’s basically The Cheat’s Guide to Nailing It. 

    Once purchased, we’ll be in touch to set up the Masterclass Skype call or you can call us in advance to check our available time-slots.

Groom Speech - Do's and Don'ts

DO

Check with the bride – If she isn’t giving a speech, then you’re speaking on behalf of her too. If nothing else make sure, she’s happy with your thank you list.

Make the thanks yous meaningful – Don’t just talk about what people have contributed to the wedding, thank them for what they’ve contributed to your life (even if it is just an appreciation on malt whiskeys). Keep each thank you less than 50 words.

Make your toast unique – drink to  ‘a lifetime of dancing on tables’ or consider a #Tequilatoast

Practise your speech and film it on your phone – Watch it back, promise yourself you’ll do something about your gut and spot where your speech can be improved.

Talk slower than feels natural – It’s what those authoritative people do to make themselves seem more intelligent.

Feel free to use clever quotes – But make sure you credit the author or someone else will! Check out our QuotInspiration guide. 

DON'T

Thank the caterers, the venue, people who have travelled far etc. – It’s unnecessary.

Resort to clichés – Yes you can thank your in-laws for ‘raising such a wonderful daughter’ but try to make it personal too. Thank your mother in law for the extra inch added to your waistline since you first sampled her Yorkshire Puddings.

Ignore the feedback of friends – It’s always worth testing your speech on a mate, but this means you have to listen to them. If someone doesn’t get a joke, don’t waste your time explaining it as you won’t be able to do that on the day.

Talk over laughter – You’ve worked hard for those laughs – don’t rush them. Always wait until your guests have settled down before continuing with your speech.

Get overly soppy – Get the balance right between sweet and just showing off. Leave the pet names at home and keep anything overly gushing for the bedroom.

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