Groom’s Speech – Dos and Don’ts

groom really laughing creditRight step away from the etiquette books and don’t go near those templates. Those bad boys are lethal. What you need is our guide to the groom’s speech dos and don’ts.

In a nutshell, your wedding speech should be a reflection of you and your bride – completely unique, rather sweet and just a little bit crazy.

Here’s what you need to do…

 Groom’s Speech Etiquette (according to Speechy)

The Groom’s Speech has a few jobs to do. It needs to…

  • Remind guests why they’re there – no not the free champagne, people want to know that you two really are meant to be together. They want to know you’re destined to grow old together and cut each other’s hardened toenails.
  • Remind everyone they’re loved – Extend a warm and heartfelt welcome to everyone. An audial cuddle if you like. Thank both sets of parents but don’t fall into the trap of thanking everyone who’s contributed to the day. It’s tedious. You can read our etiquette post to see what tradition dictates but we’d prefer you to ignore that and crack on with the important stuff, namely…
  • Tell everyone how blooming brilliant the bride isThat’s what your speech is about, not thanking the caterers.
Bride And Groom

How to Write A Groom’s Speech

Yes we reckon the crux of your speech should be about your bride and the story of how you managed to marry her. Well done you.

Of course we don’t want a re-enactment of The Notebook (quite frankly you’re no match for Ryan Gosling). What we want is the real, warts and all revelations which prove you guys are a great match (even if, like us, it’s simply a mutual and unexplained admiration for Dire Straits).

Revel in telling everyone how cool your Bride is… forget the ‘beautiful’s and ‘special’s, concentrate on what makes this woman unique. Is she an indie chick, a library-lover, a technology fiend? Theme your speech around what makes her different, what makes her excited, what makes her smile…

How can you make your speech a bit different? Is there something funny you can present your wife with at the end of the speech (maybe your first attempt at a Victoria Sponge as a tribute to her Great British Bake Off addiction?). Or is there a meaningful / comedy promise you can make (no social media after seven?!?).

Remember this is one of the few times in life where you will get the chance to really shout about what a wonderful specimen of splendidness you’ve married. Make the most of it.


Groom’s Speech – Dos and Don’ts


  • Read our How to Write the Perfect Speech and How to Make Your Speech Funny. They tell you everything you need to know
  • Make sure you tell a story rather a list of random thoughts and anecdotes – your speech should have a clear beginning, middle and end. It should hook people in at the start and end with a suitable climax; think Breaking Bad but slightly less gory.
  • Start writing it as soon as possible – ideas will keep popping into your head once you do
  • Keep it short – no more than eight mins max
  • Rehearse it in front of a trusted friend – and, this is the hard bit, take their advice


  • Play safe – you deserve more than boring
  • Thank too many people
  • Feel you need to toast the bridesmaids – certainly thank the bridesmaids but use your toast to tie up the theme of your speech whether it’s to ‘luck and love’ or a ‘lifetime of dancing on tables’
  • Panic
  • Have more than two drinks pre speech

Of course if you’d like some rather attractive TV types to help you craft your speech do feel free to wander round our shop. Find out more about Speechy and the team behind it on our home page. Or just help yourself to our advice which is lurking round this advice blog somewhere.

Some other useful grooms links

Other examples of grooms speeches (This is not meant for inspiration; it’s just reassuring to see you can do better!)

The ‘Posh’ Guide (Debrett’s)

You’re not alone (One man’s account of his groom speech nerves and his advice to others after witnessing 100s of wedding speeches with his work)


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