Joint Mr & Mrs speeches are set to be a big trend this year and guests seem to love them (almost as much as a free bar and ABBA after midnight). Here’s how to do it…
(Article first written for Wedding Ideas online – http://www.weddingideasmag.com/how-to-write-an-amazing-mr-and-mrs-wedding-speech/)
Why Give a Joint Mr & Mrs Speech
When a bride and groom give a joint speech it immediately says ‘hey, we’re a team’. It naturally creates a comedy double act and gets people laughing. The pressure’s off the groom and no one has to speak ‘on behalf’ of anyone else. It also means both the bride and groom get to be nice about their folks, compliment the in-laws and say a big thank you to everyone for being part of their day.
As well as the impact a joint speech makes at the wedding, the writing and rehearsal stages can be fun too. It’s a chance for the couple to reminisce and, in the midst of table plan debates and budget negotiations, remind themselves why they actually like each other.
The writing process is also good practice for the marriage itself; working out who does what, arguing over the important stuff and, hopefully at least, learning how to work together.
To any couples wanting to give it a go… here’s…
How To Write A Joint Mr & Mrs Speech
Set aside an afternoon where you can both sit down to work out the basics… who do you want to thank, what do you want to say, how will you get people laughing and how can you make the speech memorable?
Consider the structure of a traditional groom’s speech and follow the advice on how to make your speech seem like a story as opposed to a collection of random anecdotes.
Decide on your double act
Work out the roles you’ll play when delivering the speech. Who will be the straight man in this double act and who will take the lead? It may be obvious. It may also be a relief to the groom if it’s his bride taking on the majority of the work.
Think about how other people see your relationship. Is one of you louder than the other? Do you contradict or mirror each other? Is one of you the naughtier one? See if you can reflect this in the way you present.
Imagine you’re a couple in a sitcom, exaggerate your differences and have a laugh with how you manage to live together. Conclude with how you actually couldn’t imagine living with anyone else.
Writing Your Speech
It’s almost impossible to write a speech side by side. You’ll end up arguing over every single word.
Think, honestly now, who’s the better writer. They should attempt a first draft of the speech. When the other one reads it it’s important they refrain from any groaning, eye rolling or shouting ‘are you serious?!?’. Instead they must be thankful and offer constructive feedback to help make the speech ‘even better’.
Adopting this relaxed and calm manner is helpful in all future negotiation (so we’re told).
Length of Speech
Just because there’s two of you speaking doesn’t mean you want to double the length of a traditional groom’s speech. Still aim for under ten minutes. Keeping it short, keeps it funny and keeps people wanting more.
The romantic bit
Giving a joint speech doesn’t mean you have to miss that moment where the groom’s really lovely about you (or, in our case, talks about our fondness for fluffy socks and our wiggly bottom).
Have a bit in the speech (towards the end) which you keep secret from each other and where you each get to be lovely about the other one. Feel free to give each other a hug if the notion takes you. No kissing though.
A joint speech requires more rehearsal.
It’s crucial that there’s lots of interaction between the two of you throughout the speech even if it’s only the occasional ‘ad lib’ interjection. Also think about the facial expression of the person who isn’t speaking. Rehearse that too!
Make sure there’s two mics at the venue if you need them. And finally make sure you both really enjoy it.