Obviously the whole idea of Speechy is that you take credit for our work and so most of our speeches are confidential. However here are some selected excerpts we have permission to share. Some are cheekier, others more sentimental, but all of them are as the client requested.
‘The Godfather’ speech
‘Now some of you may already be thinking that having your brother as your Best Man is, in some way, cheating – but let me reassure you, the bond between me and Martin goes much deeper than mere nepotism.
We are brothers who have played together, schooled together, bled, boozed and now work together. We shared bunk beds when we were young and now spend twelve hours a day working alongside each other in the family business. So yes, it’s fair to say us Luke Brothers are, in essence, the Exeter version of The Godfather’s Corleone brothers. (GODFATHER THEME MUSIC STARTS HERE – 14 SECS IN AND FADE OUT AT 43 SECS)
Now if you’ve seen the film you may think those brothers were rather unsavoury sorts. But if we ignore the drug running, all those murders and the unfortunate horse’s head incident, those Corleones were really quite a loving family. So don’t worry Louise, there is absolutely nothing to be frightened of…(extended pause)…Or is there?…
‘…seeing you all here today it’s obvious I’m a very lucky man. Throughout my life I’ve been surrounded by wonderful friends and family; people who have made me laugh, drunk me under the table, given me alibis, supported me through tough times and supported me home from the pub. And then, I met Natalie…
By marrying this woman I think I may have used up my lifetime’s luck. And that’s why today I’m hoping you are lucky instead. We didn’t want to do the usual favours, so in their place, on your table is a little gift… a scratch card. Here’s hoping you have one fraction of the luck I’ve had today.
‘Hippy love’ speech
‘…. As some of you may know, for a number of years, possibly decades, Nick’s been harbouring dreams of starting up a hippy commune. If he’s not already tried to collar you with the prospect, here’s the idea…a bohemian paradise with a bit more hygiene. Everyone in the commune cooks and cleans for everyone else… but by ‘everyone else’ I think we mean Nick.
Unsurprisingly there’s not been much take up of Nick’s commune. But today I guess I’ve become the first member of it – a commune, it seems, for two.
And so yes Nick, you finally have a recruit for the commune. There may not be quite enough naked ladies wandering round 66 Rutland Road for your liking – but I promise to supply a lot of hippy love.’
Father of the Bride
‘I should have known…’
‘…so yes, I should have known Nicola would one day find herself someone stronger, more handsome and better at wiring up entertainment systems than her dad. Maybe I should have known there would come a day where a man in a tent at a festival would woo her with his knowledge of old school blues and lead her away from my vinyl jazz collection. Perhaps I should have known that one day she would no longer be impressed by my ability to touch the ceiling and instead prefer the knobbly knees of a man in a kilt.
Still, knowing that my girl might fall in love with another man never quite prepared me for today, watching her come down the aisle looking so incredibly beautiful. But as she said her ‘I dos’, I surprised myself… not by crying, but by feeling happy. Because I totally should have known that Nicola, clever thing that she is, would find herself the perfect man to build a life with….ETC’
‘The right man for the job’
‘… as we know Suki is a hot shot recruitment consultant. She’s used to finding the right man for the job so some might say it’s a bit surprising it’s taken her 39 years to find a man willing to take on the role of being her husband…Especially when the perks of the job are so good.
In conclusion, Suki’s recruitment skills have been put to wonderful use finding herself a man who can not only put up a conservatory but put up with her crazy ways. I’ve no doubt that Suki and Andrew will be wonderful colleagues throughout their lives together and I hope that the future decades are filled with lots of sexual misconduct and no written warnings.’
‘Brotherly love’ speech – by Speechy Sarah @ brother’s wedding
‘So, I believe that you met on a girl’s night out,
Roger fitted in well with his lip balmed pout.
He soon fancied Lucy from the Blue Arrows crew,
And the feelings were reciprocated, after a drink….or two…?!
With a wish to impress his lovely new Beau,
To romantic Cornwall they both did go.
A few nights in a tent should do the trick…
Plus a trip to the nudest beach to show off his d…divine body!
We were all rather surprised this sight didn’t repel,
Lucy decided Bristol was where she would dwell.
Roger had been living with me for several years,
So sad! He’s leaving! It was music to my ears!